tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18575303195631807782024-02-22T13:53:33.508-08:00hEAVY iNKheavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-79480777234718319302013-03-22T14:52:00.000-07:002013-03-22T14:52:36.798-07:00Find Our Way HomeField by snow covered field<br />
I searched, but I-94 could not revelation yield<br />
Its so easy to get lost in the smallest of towns<br />
Listen to the whispers and reality upside-down:<br />
<br />
Come and worship me, my udders hang low and not small<br />
I am New Salem! The greatest heifer of them all!<br />
Come and sing me praise! sing the sun, the snow, the sleet and rain:<br />
I am Steele! The ever lovely long neck crane!<br />
Come and bow low to me or I will defeat you, my foe<br />
I am Jamestown! White Cloud! Albino Buffalo!<br />
<br />
But in our rooms we learned to pray<br />
to sing Your songs, to live the Way<br />
Baptize us in the muddy Missouri!<br />
<br />
Bismarck, our home, our peace, our grace<br />
We first met You there, face to face<br />
Baptize us in the muddy Missouri!<br />
<br />
Burleigh County, I was lost and weak<br />
You carried me there, You met my needs<br />
Baptize me in the muddy Missouri!heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-27633328121228837802013-03-22T14:43:00.001-07:002013-03-22T14:43:58.266-07:00(un)Pleasant Valley Siding/ Dickinson, ND pop. 213,000Oh, the fatefully named for the painfully forgotten<br />
Deeds from the past still hold them to the bottom<br />
How can they forgive their fathers when they can't forgive themselves<br />
Nightmares of a past, wished gone<br />
PTSD won't move on<br />
When the deepest wounds reopen under the moons or family gatherings<br />
<br />
He said not to tell and now I couldn't if I tried<br />
He said show me yours and I'll show you mine<br />
It would be different if I could relive it,<br />
but regrets are so unkind<br />
<br />
How can they forgive their fathers when they can't forgive themselves<br />
And how can they father's forgive themselves when they can't forgive their fathers<br />
<br />
Dick-in-son: So fatefully named<br />
Dick-in-son: The past remains<br />
Dick-in-son: I hate my past<br />
Dick-in-son: Will this nightmare pass?<br />
Dick-in...<br />
<br />
Son of God! We need You now!heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-44945081346601072762013-03-22T14:33:00.007-07:002013-03-22T14:33:58.456-07:00White Butte, for the Near-SightedThree. Five. Zero. Six.<br />
I can't keep climbing higher than this.<br />
Some states of mind aspire for the Rockies<br />
Why no subject to these fields of lesser feats.<br />
<br />
White Butte! So majestic and Tall<br />
Three thousand, five hundred and six feet to fall.<br />
Listen for your name as the wind, it calls,<br />
Objectively so, down on the small...<br />
White Butte.<br />
<br />
White Butte! for the fortunately framed,<br />
The less-commonly named and the predictably tamed.<br />
Three thousand, five hundred feet from the sea;<br />
Just enough distance to kindly be...<br />
Humbly known.<br />
<br />
White Butte! So majestic and Tall<br />
Three thousand, five hundred and six feet to fall.<br />
Listen for your name as the wind, it calls,<br />
Objectively so, down on the small...<br />
White Butte.<br />
<br />
The leaves rustle as the wind passes by,<br />
Its time is fading, its end is nigh.<br />
<br />
White Butte! So majestic and Tall<br />
Three thousand, five hundred and six feet to fall.<br />
Listen for your name as the wind, it calls,<br />
Objectively so, down on the small...<br />
White Butte.
heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-78839714391607617652009-03-03T17:00:00.000-08:002009-03-03T17:01:54.260-08:00EucharistWhat a monster I am!<br />And yet I sit and dine in the presence of Greatness<br />Are you blind?<br />Have You no eyes to see me?<br />My knuckles are red and my teeth drip with blood<br />I am not clean enough for this table, for this love!<br /><br />“This is my body and blood, Do this in remembrance of me.”<br />But memory only serves my sin<br />Of lust and hate, greed and rape<br />Forgive me! Forgive me!<br />It was I who betrayed you on that night<br />My hammer, my spear stole your wings from flight<br />I dwell in darkness and shun the light<br />Forgive me! Forgive me!<br />And yet somehow in this You love me. You love me?<br />Your eyes fall upon me and though they are filled with pain<br />No condemnation do they bring<br />Hope and peace, the song they sing:<br />Son, though to the darkness you fled<br />And in lust burned red,<br />My love was there with you!<br />Always was and always will!<br />Love is the picture I paint and the canvas I spill.<br />Come Son, now have your fill!<br /><br />So here I sit<br />Devouring this bloody meal<br />Great mercy and grace, this I steal<br />In remembrance of Youheavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-27141098807561634982009-01-11T20:20:00.000-08:002009-01-11T20:26:21.370-08:00redeemed by the bottleIt's finally empty<br />Looking down, he sees no more left to drown<br />Nothing but a glass bottle; his worst fears come spiralling down<br />What of the money; what of his face<br />What of his family, he'll be a disgrace<br />"Oh God, what now?"<br /><br />How can Great God let us fall?<br />How can Great God let us fall?<br />He wears his knees but his face still bruises<br />From life's pummeling and beating, choice he did not choose<br />Despair setting in<br />Faith is meager now<br />In frustration and rage he slams the bottle down<br />No alcohol spills, no drunken brawl ensues<br />Just shattered pieces of a life once pursued<br />Just shattered pieces reflect a forgotten lamb<br />Just broken pieces and a broken man<br /><br />But from the shades, the sun peaks through<br />And reaches the broken glass, the bottle strewn<br />It reflects and refracts, a beautiful array<br />The sun transforms the broken to a glorious display<br />The Son transforms the broken to a glorious displayheavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-5887944032363216912008-02-01T12:54:00.000-08:002008-02-01T13:00:56.198-08:00DirtFrom dust I come and to dust I will return<br />But I never evolved, I remain dirt<br />In selfishness I thought I controlled my own life<br />My deeds were my own, I didn't need to bring them to light<br />Now here I am, the dirt to be walked upon<br />Worthy of nothing, but to be forgotten from<br />the memory and life of my love<br /><br />My selfishness and lust have held me down<br />Chained to the earth, I am the the ground<br />Walk on me. Stomp on me. I deserve it all.<br />With brokenness and regret, before you I fall<br />I'm sorry<br />I'm sorry<br />I'm sorry<br />With brokenness and regret, before you I fall<br /><br />From dust I come and to dust I will return<br />But I never evolved, I remain dirt.heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-13808916279247123082007-12-13T22:08:00.000-08:002007-12-13T22:09:43.181-08:00dietyControl and composure, the two deficits of my nature<br />My life rises and sets, but the sun keeps on…<br />“Why can’t I change” I cried<br />“I cannot win! The moon defines the tide, but I can’t even control my eyes<br />I AM NOT GOD!”<br />As the wind blows by, I sigh, and my shoe comes untied<br />…I am undone…<br />Make me a lily, neither will I labor or toil, unrighteous plans left to foil<br />You are the truth, the definition, and the question. I am unworthy of Your punctuation<br />I AM NOT GOD!<br />I AM NOT GOD!<br />I AM NOT GOD!<br />I am a man, fallen and fully dependent to be lifted off these dystrophic legs and carried<br />home.heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-3807440856894673252007-11-19T10:46:00.000-08:002007-11-19T10:52:02.348-08:00Pretty Flowers(as performed and recorded by Poinsettia)<br /><br />I am a flower<br />exterior of beauty but roots of deceit<br />I will devour<br />the good set around me, replaced with the ugly<br />My roots are reaching further down<br />Spoiling the land where no ones around<br />The beauty of my petals<br />Very soon will fade<br />and fade and fade<br />to reveal my shade<br />of darkness<br /><br />If perfection were to be achieved<br />Amidst this world of disease<br />The fingers of fraility would point my way<br />but unkown words my tongue would say<br /><br />I am a flower<br />exterior of beauty with roots of deceit<br />I will devour<br />the good set around me, replaced with the ugly<br />My roots are reaching further down<br />Spoiling the land where no ones around<br />The beauty of my petals<br />Very soon will fade<br />And fade and fade<br />To reveal my shade<br />Of darkness<br /><br />But breaking through the clouds, a burning light appears<br />Scorching past my thorns, to my roots of deepest fears<br />My petals all fall down, to the ground<br />Through the earth where they will never be found<br />Something new and glorious indeed<br />A brand new birth without a seed<br />I've never known this<br />I've never seen this<br />I've never felt this feeling of clean<br />New water flows<br />Like blood it glows<br />To renew my roots and make me freeheavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-55207803949952845432007-11-15T17:03:00.000-08:002007-11-15T17:04:04.086-08:00In my garden...I<br /><br />If life is a garden<br />Then friendships are trees<br />Oak and Spruce, Maple and Pine<br />Friends of many shapes and different kinds<br /><br />The rings of our tree grow many<br />And through many winters it has survived<br />Water is carried to leaves by complex lines<br />Telephone bills and post office lines<br />There is nothing I would trade it for<br />Oak, Spruce, Maple or Pine<br />The rings of our tree grow many<br />And an aged tree does not easily die.<br /><br />II<br /><br />If life is a garden<br />Then love is a rose<br />Beautiful and Breath-taking<br />Yet piercing is the thorn<br /><br />Loves I have had<br />But a thorn you have been<br />The rose has bloomed<br />The rose has blossomed<br />But never has it been plucked<br />No, never plucked for my beloved’s vase<br />For fear of the piercing<br />For fear of the painful distaste<br />The petals fall and the rose fades<br />For by the prick of the thorn<br />Oh, by the prick I’ve been detained<br /><br />III<br /><br />I love the trees<br />And a rose is most beautiful<br />But as far as I can know<br />The two, together, do not grow<br />Oh, how I wish to plant them together<br />To enjoy the tree’s shade<br />And to bask in the beauty of the rose<br />But, oh, together they will not grow!<br />Some days I wish to cut the tree and plant the rose<br />But if it never blooms<br />If it never blossoms<br />It will take years for the tree to again grow strong<br /><br />IV<br /><br />Today I will plant the rose.<br />Although I know others will grow, you will always be the thorn.<br />I will plant the rose!<br />But when I come for the plucking<br />Will I be pricked by your thorn?<br />Pricked by your thorn to bleed to my death?<br />Or will I carry this rose to your vase?<br />Carry this rose to your vase and take away your breath?heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-24262592719085868972007-10-22T13:16:00.000-07:002007-10-22T13:18:01.660-07:00Autumn6 hour drive to the cities<br />choke it down like poison<br />put her on the plane <br />watch it take flight<br />up up up<br />as my joy falls<br />down down down<br />like these autumn leaves<br /><br />I hate letting go even though<br />I know YOU can care so much more than me<br />But I still can’t help to think that<br />they lied when they said<br />home is where the heart is<br /><br />6 hour drive back home<br />As she flies back to Chicago<br />my heart in her handsheavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-77075755126202861822007-09-08T10:17:00.000-07:002007-09-08T10:18:09.000-07:00I Ami am,<br />a plastic bag in the wind,<br />an empty can made of tin,<br />a discarded sock, worn through and through,<br />a mighty ship, lacking crew,<br />i am empty.<br /><br />i am,<br />the unfinished puzzle, waiting completion,<br />forcing pieces that will never be solution.<br />i am,<br />the rhyme, lacking the riddle,<br />quotes in time, but teaches so little.<br />i am,<br />the meal, so carefully prepared,<br />cold and dry, no one cared.<br />i am,<br />the groom, awaiting his bride,<br />but none would dare come for the ride.<br />i am incomplete.<br /><br />i am,<br />the boy, lost in the store,<br />the apple, missing its core,<br />the bluebird, alone in the sky,<br />the beggar, on his way to die,<br />i am alone.<br /><br />I AM,<br />The breeze and I AM the drink.<br />I AM,<br />The lesson that is taught in sync.<br />I AM,<br />The Father and I AM the friend.<br />I AM satisfaction to the end.<br />I AM the fulfillment.<br />I AM the Completion.<br />I AM the Companion.<br />and I AM.heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-57064254640142193282007-08-19T20:23:00.002-07:002007-08-19T20:24:56.869-07:00Not All Birds are Meant to Fly and Someday... Everybody is Gonna DieMay I holdfast<br />Cast my anchors for the deep and weather the storm<br />I’m broken and I’m bleeding, but I know what I fight for<br /><br />Watch the pilots as they soar by<br />Should’ve been you, but no matter how hard you try<br />You’re grounded<br />The wind is right, and you’ve got the wings<br />But you can’t take off, can make this tune sing<br />Is this the end, is this your death?<br />Or is there hope for a bird beyond the wind’s breath<br /><br />So give me Goliath, give me the fight<br />I’m broken and I’m bleeding, but soon through the night<br />Dawn will break<br />Like Lazarus I will rise up<br />Through His power, this bird will take up<br />I know who I am, I know how I stand<br />By blood I will make my mark as a man<br />And whether in life or in death,<br />In weakness or in strength<br />I will stand<br /><br />This candle won’t blow out<br />It flickers, barely in sight<br />But a mere spark is all it takes<br />A mere spark will light the night<br />So try and stop it, its already begun<br />The night is young and the forest aglow<br />Blow out this candle? No, watch it explode<br /><br />This candle won’t burn out.heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-43120643170227221822007-08-19T20:23:00.001-07:002007-08-19T20:23:54.740-07:00Not All Birds are Meant to Fly and Someday...heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-66179637998822158632007-08-14T19:23:00.000-07:002007-08-14T19:24:18.887-07:00Of Agetwenty-one years of learning.<br />twenty-one years of enhancement.<br />self-sufficiency,<br />it’s a means to an end.<br />so watch me chase the wind,<br />find meaning in the meaningless.<br />it’s my life,<br />it’s mine to take or waste<br />my dreams, my visions,<br />my goals and aspirations.<br />work harder,<br />then comes reality from apparition.<br />but what of the bottom,<br />the floor which I call home.<br />am I a failure<br />for not reaching the sky alone?<br /><br />twenty-one years of me<br />twenty-one years of self-sufficiency<br />they taught me to do it myself<br />but here on the ground,<br />alone in the dirt,<br />i’ve learned the most important lesson<br />they do not teach,<br />i’ve learned from hurt.<br /><br />i need YOU.heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-76939622486007755492007-08-12T11:19:00.001-07:002007-08-12T11:22:46.640-07:00What Shadow Can Withstand the Light (Oh Me, Oh My, What a Monster I Spy, Pt. 3)I hate throwing up<br />Bile and blood baring my soul<br />It’s strange though<br />In my hands is the vomit-filled cup<br />And relief overcomes me, energy to wake up<br /><br />Cut me open, let the poison flow<br />I know it burns, but its got to go<br />I want life<br />I want love<br />I will fight<br />With the strength of a bear for the peace of a dove<br /><br />And though I may return to the night<br />Return to the shadows for short-lived delight<br />My shutters will not close<br /><br />Glorious Sunshine<br />Melt away this frozen cage of bitter flesh<br />Burn through the skin, burn through the bone<br />Burn deep inside to cleanse this illness<br />And with your rising everyday<br />May I go blind<br />May I lose myself in Your faithful rayheavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-72336615994203367592007-08-12T11:17:00.000-07:002007-08-12T11:19:08.345-07:00Pass the Mylanta (Oh Me, Oh My, What a Monster I Spy, Pt. 2)For some reason the rotten always seems most delicious<br />Indigestion<br />My desire for flesh always seems to come back and eat away at me<br />Something is wrong…<br /><br />Why won’t this numb?<br />The pain burning within<br />Why won’t this numb?<br />The sore on my bloody chin<br />Why won’t this numb?<br />The stain on my cheek from the pleasure of sin<br />Why won’t this numb?<br /><br />I should be dead to this by now<br />The pangs of conscience<br />Can a beast feel remorse?<br />Cause my stomach’s churning with a force<br /><br />Purge!<br />Renew!<br />Purge!<br />Revive!<br />Purge!<br />So true!<br />Purge!<br />So Alive!heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-73308557098499825242007-08-04T09:15:00.000-07:002007-08-04T09:21:06.798-07:00Pardon Me, But May I Help Myself to You (Oh Me, Oh My, What a Monster I Spy, Pt. 1)Look in the mirror, no one's there.<br />Look in the mirror, transparency.<br /><br />Outstretched wings as I take to flight,<br />The night is mine, the flesh my delight.<br />I'm sucking the life out of You,<br />I'm sucking the life out of me.<br />Haunt. Hunt. Kill. Feast.<br />Haunt. Hunt. Kill. Feast.<br />Never enought to satisfy this beast.<br />With every victim I take down<br />I'll bury myself deeper in the ground.<br />I'm sucking the life out of You,<br />I'm sucking the life out of me.<br /><br />What is this monster I've created?<br />Evil personified, Leviathon I've manifested.<br />Oh no, my Hyde is taking over.<br />Can I not escape this place?<br />Can I not escape my own Translyvania?<br />Can I not escape this place?<br />Can I not be saved?<br /><br />Look in the mirror, no ones there.<br />Look in the mirror, transparency.heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-62047927914303769152007-08-02T18:12:00.000-07:002007-08-02T18:14:09.534-07:00Call Me Atlantis, The Lost Son of the SeaWhere am I going?<br />The resounding nowhere.<br />I need to burn this town behind me,<br />But like the captain, I’m going down with this ship.<br />Is it fear that shackles me down,<br />Is failure my ball and chain?<br />Or is it my vision that I, like my Fathers before me, have something great to offer?<br /><br />Were these dreams dreamt for dashing?<br />Were these hopes born for crashing?<br />I am nobody in a nowhere town,<br />Dreaming the best, but dreading the worst,<br />Oh God, not the worst…<br /><br />I know Your plans are the future, plans of perfection,<br />But how many hours must I wait, how many days will pass?<br />What if it never comes, what if I’m forgotten<br />What if the future is now, will my gifts become rotten?<br /><br />They all sing, everyone is singing: “I will wait for You!”<br />Call me weak; call me icy, but my patience cracks easily under pressure.<br />Am I blind, has my braille worn from years of sin?<br />I know You’re here, but I can’t feel the wind<br />When will You come, will You answer me?<br />Or am I Atlantis?<br />Slowly Sinking.<br />Soon<br />To be<br />Forgotten.heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1857530319563180778.post-75246658950463038982007-08-02T17:38:00.000-07:002007-08-02T17:43:29.353-07:00So Here it is...I am gonna post poems that i have written here everyonce in a while, some i have put to music, others are in the process, and some probably will never meet a musical note. I hope you enjoy the lines, and maybe we will agree on something, or maybe we won't. Oh well, i hope they cause you to think a little.heavy inkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00072147518533852977noreply@blogger.com0